Apparently the fastest way to get me to start reading Storm of Swords is to tell me that in it Jon Snow basically invents cunnilingus.
this season on got: a summary
- tyrion: L O L
- petyr: where am i? we just don't know
- jeyne: sad back story. in conclusion: volantis.
- robb: eye-sex
- catelyn: DIAPERS. BABIES. BREASTFEEDING. LADY PARTS.
- stannis: oh god not another vagina
- melisandre: enter vagina, stage right
- shae: someone please free me from this story arc
- sansa: what's a story arc??
- cersei: MORE WINE
- theon: i'VE MADE A TERRIBLE MISTAKE
- Book!Cat: Ned, you must go to Kings Landing to help Robert and find out what happened to Jon Arryn!
- HBO!Cat: Ned, stay here with me!
- Book!Cat: <during the King in the North scene> Robb, let's trade for the girls and sue for peace. You can't bring your father back.
- HBO!Cat: <during the same scene> ::silent::
- Book!Cat: Look, Robb, I know you don't want to negotiate with the Lannisters but you have to give them something. Okay, those terms aren't exactly what I was thinking but you're the King.
- HBO!Cat: ::strangely missing from the negotiation table::
- Book!Cat: I don't care what you say, Robb, I'm not going home I'm staying right here by any means necessary. Also if you're going to negotiate with Balon Greyjoy you shouldn't give up our only hostage.
- HBO!Cat: You can't trust Balon! I want to go home!
- Book!Cat: Trying to forge an alliance with Renly Baratheon could be a good idea.
- HBO!Cat: Okay, Robb, I'll go negotiate with Renly, but I really want to go home.
- Book!Cat: <<discusses strategy and tactics with Renly>>
- HBO!Cat: <<gets dismissed to her tent by Renly>>
- Book!Cat: Releases Jaime after hearing about Rickon and Bran's "deaths", hoping to get back Sansa, who besides being her beloved daughter, is also a useful political piece (as Tywin *and* Robb would later note) and at that moment Robb's heir
- HBO!Cat: Releases Jaime because all her children are held captive and she wants them back
- Book!Robb: Forgives his mother because he has also done something "dishonorable"
- HBO!Robb: LOL HOUSE ARREST