I’ve been seeing all these great Portal fics and recs and Wheatleys on my dash and I wanted to be involved so here I wrote a fanfiction and I think it is the best one.

“I can’t believe you rescued me from space!” said wheatley.

“well i had to,” said chell. “everyone else on the planet is dead and i haven’t had sex in like hundreds of years.” then she started making out with wheatley. “oh man alive!” he said passionately.

he had an android body now and it was super jacked. “i hope you have a penis,” chell whispered in his ear as she ripped off his shirt. his abs were really good and chell thought to herself oh yeah hot dang i’m gonna give you the business.

“w-wait,” said wheatley. “this is my first time.” he was nervous and blushing and shit. all of his sensors and stuff were going crazy because he was so turned on.

“well i’ll try to be gentle baby,” said chell erotically. she pulled off his glasses. “but i want to do it in front of companion cube.”

~FIN~