derekvonevil replied to your post: ellieellieoxenfree replied to your post: oh…

That actually sounds a lot (okay, exactly) like most of my interactions with my friend Karl. I think it’s less creepy if I repeatedly tell him that it’s not creepy in a hoarse whisper the entire time. But in my defence, he has astonishingly good skin

where is your friend karl. find him. we must go to him and caress his face with our hands.

ellieellieoxenfree replied to your post: oh christ, every time I see that post about bikers…

come cry against my soft bosom bb

derekvonevil replied to your post: the thing I find most makes me tempted to start…

Well that’s… not at all creepy. Just promise me I’m not going to hear on the news about how you kidnapped this poor actor and wore his skin as a coat. I’m not saying don’t do it, just take steps to ensure you’re not caught.

no no, you misunderstand me! I only want to reach out (tentatively, beguilingly) and touch his face with my hands and whisper “tell me your secrets my sweet prince” and then just in case the properties of his skin are transitive I would rub his face on my face and maybe also my boobs. See, it’s not creepy at all!

derekvonevil replied to your post: I watched Wall-E recently and that movie is…

This sounds like the greatest anime ever made.

yes, truly, I am the only poet left. u should all be brokenhearted that my vision will never be realized! my vision of cute robots having mental breakdowns!!!

derekvonevil replied to your post: I really want to write one of those YA novels that…

Don’t worry, I’ve already stolen this idea. But the bad news is that it’s going to be so poorly written as to be unreadable. I’ve got to earn this url somehow.

I will excuse that as long as it is fanfiction about Betty and Veronica wising up and realizing that almost literally all of their problems could be solved by flipping Archie Andrews the bird and then smooching all up on each other.

derekvonevil replied to your post: I was all set to FINALLY go see Prometheus but…

You could always do what I do in that situation: go see the movie by yourself and sit all alone in the theatre like an awkward weirdo. I lead a glamourous life, if there was ever any doubt.

I know I should do that but I just can never work up the nerve to see movies alone! I just really like making snarky comments about the previews and the post-movie discussion over coffee. I actually had a conversation about this the other day and the guy was like “you just gotta say ‘fuck it’ and go! Start slow with a matinee on a week day, that’s what I did a few weeks ago” and then his girlfriend leans in and goes “IT WAS A ROMCOM.”

derekvonevil replied to your post: Went to my little sister’s graduation yesterday…

Was he like a lanky 17 year old Thor, but a stoner? With long, greasy hair for to headbang with. And he wore a Led Zeppelin t-shirt and jeans that were all tore up to his graduation. That’s what I’m imagining anyway.

YEAH. Huge, long curly hair, facial hair, DEFINITELY a fun-loving stoner. He was wearing a grad gown but I would bet actual money that he was wearing a classic band tee under that thing. Basically the kind of kid I now wish I had been friends with in high school.

derekvonevil replied to your post: Is it weird that instead of having sexual…

Yes, that is weird. But it’s also awesome!

well as you are the arbiter of stuff that is both awesome and weird I will take your word for it. I mean I do have sexual fantasies about celebrities because um hello Anna Torv is a person who exists, but mostly it’s really mundane stuff like walking my dog with Ryan Gosling or going on a motorcycle road trip with Katee Sackhoff and Tricia Helfer. idk i contain multitudes yo.

derekvonevil replied to your post: ahhhhhhh oh no for a job I’ve applied for I have…

Maybe get one of those typing tutor programs? I’ve seen one with zombies before, zombies make everything better

um that is AWESOME. Okay I am going to admit something embarrassing: I had a Mavis Beacon Teaches Typing! cd-rom as a kid and used to take tests all the time. Like it was a game. (Baby Sarah was as much a dork as adult Sarah.) So I mean I’m pretty fast I just make a lot of mistakes and totally psych myself out. Yeah I am a cool guy with a cool life

talythiastarseeker replied to your post: So I was going through old boxes of notebooks…

Repent, reeepeeeeeeent! =P

You of all people should understand how I feel!! We both have dark and regrettable pasts when it comes to horrifying fanfiction.

derekvonevil replied to your post: So I was going through old boxes of notebooks…

You understand that I need to read all of these now, yes?

There is a 0% probability of that happening.

Although I might maybe have somehow convinced myself to own up to my shameful past and spent a few hours this afternoon writing Game of Thrones fanfiction which I guess I can send you a link to if I ever post. That’s all you’re getting.