That sums it up
This reminds me of a discussion we had in school, and one girl was talking about living in fear of her safety because she is a girl, and this guy chimed in and was all “It’s hard for guys too! I’m so awkward around girls! It’s embarrassing!” Yeah, not the same thing, exactly?
This reminds me of an article about online (heterosexual) dating that I read a while ago. It listed men’s and women’s worst fears about meeting someone from online. The highest ranked fear that men had was that their date would be fat, whereas the highest ranked fear that women had was that their date would turn out to be violent and kill them.
I think that says a lot.
Editor’s note: By now, you’ve probably heard about the terrible (because it’s all too common) incident that happened recently at the Hollywood Laugh Factory between comedian Daniel Tosh and a female audience member who was vocal about her displeasure with Tosh defending rape jokes in his stand-up act.
Tosh, who is known for his over-the-line comedy, both live and on-air, apologized over Twitter to the offended individual, providing some legitimacy to the claim that he went way over the line in this instance.
The he-said/she-said details of this particular instance, however, are far less important than the emerging discussion by comedians, feminists and media experts who have either expressed their support of Tosh or stand-up in general or commented upon the persistence of “off-limits” joke territories.
Lovers of the art form generally seem to agree that comedy is one of the few sacred spaces where commentary can be made on difficult, taboo topics in order to invite dialog. But most would also agree it takes a keenly honed sense of awareness and subtlety to execute these types of jokes successfully.
Of all the blog posts and news articles written about this recent flare-up of the age old comedy question so far, it’s been Austin area comedian Curtis Luciani who offered up the most deceptively eloquent statement on the larger matter that we’ve seen yet. As a member of sketch comedy groups Your Terrific Neighbors and The Hustle Show, he’s no stranger to flirting with that razon-thin line between hysterical and ostracizing. But he’s also, clearly, a really smart dude who gets the meaning and use of satire.
Published with his permission, here’s his response in its full, unapologetic glory (be advised: it contains dirty language) as it appeared on Facebook Wednesday.
Let’s imagine a world in which women cut men’s dicks off.
(On why he let Willow cut all of her hair off)
Read more: Will Smith On Allowing Willow To Cut Her Hair: ‘She Has Got To Have Command Of Her Body’ | Necole Bitchie.com
- He raises a really great point. What would it mean to believe very early that my body was mine. That it’s not for anyone or for any particular purpose other than to be mine until I decide otherwise.
I was damned near 30 before I could believe my body belonged to me & me alone. Dear people who take an issue with this,
Let the Smiths do right by their babies & shut the fuck up about how you think they should parent.
Sometimes I hear people say that racism/sexism/etc in culture isn’t important or worth criticizing. ”Oh it’s just a book,” they say. ”It’s just a crappy TV show.” ”It’s just a commercial.”
This argument always baffles me. It’s like if you put poison into a fish-tank and then say “Oh well I didn’t poison the fish, I just poisoned the water.” The fish lives in the water, dumbass; it’s completely submerged in and surrounded by the water. I’m pretty sure that poisoned water is going to affect the fish.
Similarly, we all live constantly immersed in this miasma of information that we call “culture.” People are not born prejudiced. We don’t emerge from the womb knowing that all black men are scary thugs, that all Latinas are spicy sexpots, that all Indians are violent savages, that all women are weepy and frail, that all gay men are depraved pedophiles, and that all people in wheelchairs are objects of pity. We learn these things, usually starting at a very young age, and we often learn them from our culture — the books we read, the movies we watch, and the constant barrage of advertising that we don’t really pay attention to but which still manages to seep into our brains, and which shapes the way we think about the world, for better or for worse.
If you want to save the fish, you need to purify the water.
Not All Like That
Imagine a minefield… a strip of land seeded with traps that will maim or kill you if you put one foot in the wrong place. What’s the wrong place? You’ll know when you step there. There’s no rhyme or reason to it. The pattern that gets you safely through one part might get you killed in another part.
It isn’t that every square inch of soil in the minefield means certain death, of course. But what would the ratio of safe ground to mined ground have to be before you could actually relax, before you could feel safe… before you could be safe, in practical terms?
Imagine that you and your entire family are woken up at dawn every day and made to cross the minefield in order to just live your lives. You’re not allowed to take the same route as each other. You have to watch each other as you make your way through an invisible deadly maze, never knowing if today will be the day but always knowing that it could be.
And one day, while you’re in the middle of that maze, watching your children or your siblings pick their way carefully around you, you say, “I HATE EVERY LAST INCH OF THIS FUCKING MINEFIELD.”
And then you hear a voice from up above you, from someone who doesn’t have to walk the minefield… someone who’s allowed to use a footbridge to bypass it every day while you’re inching your way through it, someone who gets a head start on everything compared to you and yours because they don’t have to go through the minefield…
And the voice says, “That isn’t fair. Sure, some of the minefield will kill you if you step on it, but it isn’t all like that.”
Oh my god, this.
I don’t get it
If you were hanging out with your friend and your friend turns to you and says “hey I don’t know if you noticed but you just stepped on my foot, can you please stop”, I am guessing most people would say “oh man, I’m sorry” and maybe watch where they were walking a little better
You probably would NOT:
- yell at your friend for accusing you of stepping on their foot
- deny that you had stepped on your friend’s foot
- argue with your friend over how you step on everyone’s feet equally, so it shouldn’t matter
- insist that you didn’t step on their foot that hard, so it couldn’t have hurt them
- get offended over the implication that the way you walk is wrong
- say “okay, but what about MY foot?”
- step on your friend’s foot more to show how it isn’t even a big deal and nobody cares about people stepping on each other’s feet anymore
- reference that one time when your friend stepped on YOUR foot and you didn’t complain
- tell them you didn’t mean to do it, so you’re not responsible for stepping on their foot
- deny that your friend has a foot
and I mean sometimes the person isn’t even a friend or someone you know but that doesn’t matter, don’t fucking step on people"
#DENY THAT YOUR FRIEND HAS A FOOT #oms #additionally i would like to supply: #suggest that your friend enjoys having their toes trampled #tell your friend to ask nicely #tell your friend that you’re just trying to prepare them for the harsh reality of life in a foot-stomping society #tell your friend that WELL AT LEAST I DIDN’T KICK YOU IN THE TEETH and then continue standing on their foot out of petulance #serious business posts
And if you don’t believe me, you’ve never been a married woman who kept her family name. I have had students hold that up as proof of my “sexism.”
My own brother told me that he could never marry a woman who kept her name because “everyone would know who ruled that relationship.” Perfect equality – my husband keeps his name and I keep mine – is held as a statement of superiority on my part."
I might have reblogged this already but it’s so good I don’t care.
Kyriarchy in action.
Also the study where they had women and men talking in a discussion and when women spoke around 30% of the time, men perceived them as dominating the discussion. They didn’t consider it “equal” until something like 5-10% of women talking.
Voila. A beautiful example of why fighting for equality becomes a gross exaggeration in the eyes of the oppressors.